“I'm looking for a miracle. I expect the impossible. I want to feel the intangible and see the invisible.” Those are popular verses to an old gospel song. Whenever I need a miracle that song gives me hope, it bolsters my faith. Right now I need a miracle. This is the time of year when our expectations of the New Year have to be balanced with the realities of how the year actually went.
Every year I write a Christmas letter that forces me to think positively about how the year went and summarize my year, my family, our accomplishments in the best light possible. This year it was a challenge to write that letter. I actually debated on whether to write it at all. I thought for a moment that I might not send it, after all this year was very challenging for us. But the absence of a Christmas letter from the Lee’s would have said more about our failures, than my pretty little lipstick on a pig painting could ever do.
So I wrote the letter, part rosie truth, part omission. I attempted to paper over the challenging bit, and wrote instead about growth. The truth is however, that I wish this year had gone better. I know that we can’t always have things we wish for, but I sure was hoping to bat more than 500. The stats seemed stacked against me this year. The wins not as obvious as the losses. Funny how I can be more honest and forthright with perfect strangers than with my family and friends who the Christmas Letter is intended for.
Thus, I am looking for a miracle. I am hoping for my fortunes to change before years end - literally. I want to see the tide change and my prospects turn for the better. There are still a few more days left in the year. Anything is possible.
See, I know a little bit about Christmas Miracles. Eleven years ago, the answer to my five year prayer was manifested around this time. I remember how I felt when my doctor told me that I was expecting my second son. The shock on my face was palpable. The feeling of disbelief and euphoria were mixed together with complete elation. God had finally answered my prayer. I just sat there in the exam room dumbfounded, waiting for the feeling to pass. I immediately went home to tell my husband which led to my seeing his physical frame visibly relax.
Have you ever wanted something so bad that you could taste it? That’s how much I wanted to be pregnant. It was a particularly difficult time of waiting because God had revealed to me that I would indeed nurse another child. This assurance made certain decisions such as in-vitro difficult to undergo and another decision such as adopting, one we felt compelled to postpone. In the end, we didn’t need either in-vitro or adoption, our miracle baby boy came home right on time. But knowing God has a promise for you and believing in that promise steadfastly, day in and day out, are two different things entirely.
I have another promise I am holding onto right now. And just like that other promise, there are certain things that if I believe the promise, I shouldn’t do. Somehow when you are in the midst of waiting for the promise to be fulfilled, the miracle to come through, your doubts are ringing so loudly, that is all you hear. Remember the tough year I referenced earlier, well that is also right there, front and center.
I know God is able to perform a miracle in 2019. He didn’t lose that ability just because we now have I Phones and satellite TV. No, now more than ever people need miracles, and miracles happen every day. Not only will I continue to hold out for my miracle, I will hold out for yours too.
“Just believe and receive it, God will perform it today!”
What about you? Do you have a promise from God that you are beginning to doubt? Do you feel as though He has somehow forgotten all about you? The scripture says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12. Dear friend, don’t despair. Things will work out in the end. I know it. I have seen the hand of God on many occasions move when you least expect it. I want to encourage you today to hold on, persevere, and remain confident in the faithfulness of God. Remember his timing is different than our own, but it is always right on time.